Great Expectations Revisited

Well, this is officially the last post of ahsemkabirimmersion.blogspot.com.  It is quite a sentimental moment, actually. I have become somewhat attached to this blog, which happens. But I have to end it: everything has an expiration date, and this is now. I hope you had a great time reading this blog, because I had a great time writing it. In this entry, we will be concerned with scopes of time: the past, present, and future, and what it all means for our Great Expectations.  We will look back, and look forward, and relate the things we see with each other. So here goes:

Great Expectations Revisited.  You see what I did there?

An ice chunk

I think the act of writing is a lot like breaking an ice chunk with a pickaxe.  Many things are like this actually, including, but not limited to: exercise, stage performances, and meditation.  It's hard at first, and you're a bit skeptical about whether the whole thing is going to work. But slowly, the chunks start to loosen, and it gets easier, even fun.  The most difficult part is coming up with an idea, but once you do that, it's all just application from there.  Sometimes, we already have the idea, but taking the first step to apply it is the difficult one.  Regardless, the general trend is that things get easier.  And the universal signature of anything you write (as long as you consider yourself a writer) is the intense feeling of relief and accomplishment you get after you're done.  It's as if you've made a grand philosophical unification, and the whole world seems to fall into place and make "sense".  The reason I'm telling you this is that I've really felt these feelings while writing this blog.  I think of this entire blog as an attempt to break down a giant ice chunk that had to be broken down.  It had to be broken down because of my premonitions.  It was as if something was calling me to start keeping it, literally.  As I sat in that bathtub way long ago on December 27th, I couldn't see it going any other way.  I'm not going to lie: I was self-conscious about how 'good' I was going to be at keeping it, but now, it's the end, and you, the reader, can be the judge of that. The point is, we're here.

The big ice chunk of the blog was divided into littler chunks called 'entries'.  Strangely, entries follow the same pattern of thought as blogs do, but they're just on a smaller scale: difficult at first, then easier, then satisfying. When I started keeping the blog, everything was falling into place, as I took one stab after another.  Sure, it wasn't exactly how I'd envisioned it, but that's because it takes upon a life of it's own.  Some entries, as you may have thought, were easier to write than others.   Some were simply updates on how things were going, and others were intense philosophical quests.
If this blog were a book, the first few entries, from Great Expectations to Siem Reap, Cambodia: Itinerary served primarily as the introduction.  They kept everyone up to date and gave the next few entries relevance, and had a few general ideas peppered throughout them.  Volunteering So Far discussed the rising action in an explicit fashion.  The seventh and eighth entries, The Role of Objectivism in Community Service and People Don't Buy What You Do, They Buy Why You Do It: Purpose, were the two most important entries of the blog.  Of course, they couldn't have gotten their points across without the other entries applying them, but they still served as the climax, especially the eighth entry.  They were also the longest, the most difficult to write, and eventually, the most rewarding. After that, it was just falling action. It was tying up loose ends, kind of like what a novel does.  I broke down a few more little ice chunks, but there is still one big chunk left.  It is also very important.  It is called the conclusion. Will you break it down with me?

Look at what we have here. Almost twelve attempts to break things down, a mess on the floor, and 777 views.  Now, we must ask: what was the point of all that?  How are we better off than we were before all of this?  Well, for one thing, we have touched the metaphysical center of all thought, several times, and that's not something very many beings get to do.  It's not even something they've heard of.  As you get closer to the center of that circle, things get few and far between.  But once you get there, you'll know it.  You have the potential to gain everything.  It's just up to you to apply it.  Maybe you're the one who needs to break the ice.  And if you are, I wish you luck.  But for now, I think we have lived up to our Great Expectations, since we have strived for the ideal of wisdom and knowledge.  We have made the unifications, and we have discovered our benefactors and what they can do for us.  We still have a long way to go, but I don't want anyone to forget what we've achieved here.  Tomorrow, I will be going back to school, as will all of you high schoolers, and we will continue putting on the humdrum of everyday life. Same with everyone else: don't think you are all prohibited from experiencing these feelings.  Whatever the case may be with you, just know that somewhere, something is in the air.  Something infinite.  As I've said, we have all experienced things that conversation cannot begin to truly capture. We have experienced Immersion.  From that, the something comes up. Never let time dull that something in your memories.  Hold on to it. Apply it.  Play with it.
Love it.

So now, I think it's time to say goodbye.  I have to get back to work.  Again, I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog, and I hope you've learned something from it, because I certainly have. Farewell, and:

Thank you for everything,
    Ahsem Kabir

Images from:
My phone
http://www.inlandmariners.com/Mariners_06/im_recent_StClair.htm

Presentations

Hello all,
As you may know, it is the final day of the Immersion program.  But I don't want to be done just yet: we still have a few things to talk about.  As I see it, this is the second to last entry of this blog.  I will publish the last one on Sunday or Monday and give you all the appropriate farewell, so watch out for that.

Saying Goodbye to STD-1

This week has been a bit sluggish, because things are winding down. Even though I am not required to, I am still coming to school, much to the disbelief of my friends.  I'm doing this to get the gears turning: I'm simply not as productive if I stay home.  I am supposed to be making presentations for the open house on February 11th, and I still have a lot of work to do.   I want to use this entry to plan these presentations and get my thoughts out. I also want to provide you with a tentative forecast for the future of this project.  I won't keep you too long.

I have spent most of the day visiting other Immersions and talking to people about our experiences.
So far, I have visited Security and Diplomacy, Criminal Justice, Peru, and Marine Ecology.  We have all done things on entirely different planes of experience which neither of us can begin to fathom.  It goes beyond the simple question of "How was your Immersion?" and the simple answer of "good".  I know it's much more than that.  What we have to do is forget to forget.  We have to keep these experiences with us, otherwise, they don't mean anything.

With Reception (Pre-School)

The presentation I am making for open house includes the short film I wrote about in the previous entry.  The film will ideally consist of two interviews I had at the school, and a slideshow of the pictures I took with some background information on the cause.  Just incase you're not there at the open house, here's a little history:

To tell you the truth, it took a while to get this cause up and running.  It took a while to give it direction beyond an idea, and instill the proper enthusiasm in myself and around the school for it to take off.  The work for it dates back to November of 2012, when I had the idea.  The original plan was to start a 501c3, however, that's like building a skyscraper without having any prior experience with construction work.  So I prepared a Powerpoint presentation which vaguely stated the nature of my cause.  On April 24, 2013, I showed this presentation to the school at announcements. Coincidentally, that was the same day a garment factory building collapsed in Dhaka, which killed over 1000 workers.  There is a good chance that a parent of a child who attended the schools we helped was killed in that disaster.  And 1000 is more than just a number.
If we want to be motivated to take heartfelt action, what we must see is not one statistic, but a thousand tragedies.  Those people had their own beautiful stories on different planes of experience which none of us can begin to fathom. For the last month of that school year, the school collected two baskets of school supplies, which I sent to Bangladesh with my grandparents at the end of the year.
On May 2nd, 2014, I announced the cause again, however, it did not go so well. I believe that only one folder was contributed that final month.  I'm being completely honest here: I was self-conscious about how successful this cause was going to be.  On May 23rd, I submitted my independent Immersion proposal, and watched my advisor scrawl his signature on the paper.  He said he would take it to the committee.  I got approved a week and a half later.
Finally, on December 2nd, I announced the school supply collection again, and it went much better. My brother Sahir collected supplies in the middle school as well, which really helped.  In fact, he might have collected more than me, if not just as much.  Together, we collected 104 pounds of supplies, as written in the second entry of this blog.  The high school unfortunately did not collect the three suitcases of supplies needed to fulfill the incentive, so I've decided I will probably not be performing a song and dance on February 2nd at announcements.  However, I still commend everyone on the supplies they have contributed.
The reason I tell you all this is to show you where this is going.  Hopefully, I will continue this initiative.  The suitcase will stay outside in the hallway.  I don't want to move on just yet.  If you have any ideas, either for what you would like to see at the open house two weeks from now, or for the future of this cause in general, contact me at ahsem.kabir@mvschool.com.  All your thoughts are greatly appreciated, and I highly recommend you do this if you have even the slightest thought.

It feels strange that Immersion is over, because it was all I was really concerned with when it was happening.  And that's a good thing, because it means that I succeeded in immersing myself.  I can't say I entirely decimated the boundary between myself and my surroundings, or that I went beyond the level of 'tourist'.  After all, I was excited to go back home.  However, this is not something to be bothered by, since we strived for the ideal, didn't we?  I'll talk about that more next entry.  But until then:

Peace, love, and happiness,
    Ahsem Kabir

Transition 2: My Journey Back Home and The Week Ahead

Hello everyone,
The last few days have been quite meaningful.  I am proud to say that I have travelled halfway around the world by myself.  It was a valuable experience, and I connected with myself on a whole new level when I did it.  When you're with other people, you usually talk to them, so it logically follows that when you're by yourself, you talk to yourself, aloud.  I never understood why people think talking to yourself is crazy: you're with yourself 24/7, so you might as well talk to yourself.  I do it all the time.  I usually enact a conversation in two people: one who asks, "ok, we need to go to gate C4.  Do you have your boarding pass?" and the other who makes cool observations and says creative things.  It is akin to the left brain and the right brain.  Personally, I enjoy the second person more: he is a lot more interesting and fun. It is funny when the first person tells him to be quiet and focus, and he laughs like a maniac.

The reason I am telling you all of this is to show you a way to cope with responsibility and loneliness.  This doesn't just have to be Me, Myself, and I. Nothing does.  You can still make connections with the world, and understand how it all works. The talking to myself really helped me do this.  Even though I was physically alone, I knew that spiritually, everyone I know was with me.  For instance, I really appreciate the lengths that my family went to coordinate everything, and I couldn't have done any of this without them.  At the same time, talking to yourself violates social norms, which I really enjoy doing.  It's good to be crazy, because being normal is boring. I think many people act differently when they are by themselves.  They often put on a mask for the rest of the world, and from that, we have a falsely constructed notion of sanity versus insanity.  I believe that deep down, everyone is 'insane'.  Some people would beg to differ, and that's fine, too.  But there are many more who would completely agree.  It is like what the author Neil Gaiman said in his graphic novel The Sandman, Volume 5: A Game Of You: “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world, I mean everybody — no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds... Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe.” Talking to yourself is basically a way to bring out these worlds inside of you.  It is a way to be your own person, yet one with the world.

The best part of the journey was the ending, when I jumped for joy at the baggage claim in the Dayton airport. There was 80's music playing in the background, and it seemed to hit perfectly with the moment.  Music has a way of doing that.  Every sound just seems to fall into the right place.
My father picked me up and we talked about the time he travelled to Saudi Arabia by himself and how it compared with what I just did.  I was very happy to see everyone and everything, including my house.  Even though my house is not the most practically desirable in terms of location, I feel like it is a home.  I get that rushing feeling of relief when I go there every day.

So now that we have talked about me, let's talk about you.  There is an interesting week ahead in terms of projects and presentations for the school.  I am planning to make a film of five to six minutes in which I depict the schools I visited and show some interviews I had with the teachers and students. I regret not getting more footage, but I will have to work with what I got.  I am not the biggest picture or video taker, because those thoughts do not really occur to me when I am doing something truly worthwhile.  Pictures and videos never really seem to do the moment justice.  Many of the most important moments of our life happen spontaneously, and somehow, when you record something, it becomes less spontaneous.  For example, after I was done having that discussion with my brother on the plane from Cambodia, I regretted not having recorded it, but I knew that if I did, we wouldn't have put our hearts into it as much.  It would have been more orchestrated.

I am not exactly sure how the week ahead is scheduled.  On the itinerary I constructed this past November it vaguely says 'Presentation' for every day of that week.  Last year, when I went to Ghana, the Immersion group I was in basically had a summing up of experiences and ideas on how to expand Project Okurase.  That will be probably be similar to what I will do, however I am still not sure when the school will be doing what.  I do know that today, there is a lot of work to do, so I'd better get started.

Best regards,
  Ahsem Kabir

Final Day of the Trip: Reflections

Hello everyone,
Today is the last day of my trip.  I am leaving at 8 pm, or 9 am eastern time.  It is a strange feeling.  My cousins and my aunt came over and with my grandmother, we packed my bags. I just watched their car pull out the driveway.  I won't see them again for several more years.
The time seemed to go fast on one level, but slow on another.  December 24th and earlier feels like it is from the beginning of my childhood, almost like a dream.  But at the same time, I remember it very well, and I am ready to go back to America, because in the end, I am a tourist.  It's a hard sensation to explain. Once you've been there, you know exactly what I mean.  I would like to use this entry to summarize my experiences and give them greater significance.

I have had many little infinities on this trip I am never going to forget, my fondest of which was probably volunteering at the school.  After all, that is the central basis for this Immersion.  What I found very frustrating about this was the prevalence of political demonstrations, or hortals, getting in the way of education.   Right now, the political situation in Bangladesh is not the best.   Out of the fourteen days I was supposed to come to volunteer, I could only come in eight, which is, accordingly, not the best fraction.  Recently, the government blocked Viber in effort to thwart protesters from congregating, but honestly, they're just going to find another way, so I don't believe it is going to solve anything.  But regardless, I enjoyed it.  What I liked most about the schools was the children, since they showed enthusiasm and the desire for knowledge, which is where everything starts.  They are the center of the future: the ones who will keep the blood of everything flowing.  I could see it in their behavior.  I said goodbye to everyone today, and did a little interview with the education coordinator, and an interview with the children of Grade 2. It was a touching moment when I stepped out that yellow door for the last time: one foot, then the other.
And I was out.

For a brief overview of my itinerary, I came to Dhaka December 27th, and on New Year's Day, I departed for Cambodia.  I returned on the 5th, and had an off day on the 6th.  I volunteered at the schools for the next two days, and introduced myself to the children.  I took the next five days off on account of the weekend, sickness, and political demonstration.  On Wednesday the 14th, I volunteered, and took the next three days off.  Finally, I volunteered for the last five days of the trip, from the 18th until today.  At the school, I taught in classrooms, and made a lot of teaching materials on the computer.  These included Powerpoints on many rudimentary subjects such as colors, weather,  animals, the days of the week, and the months of the year.  The reason I'm telling you all this is so you have an accurate explicit record about what I did.  I took quite an implicit approach in the past three entries, so I want to let you know what I was 'up to' during that time.

One thing I want to address is cultural differences between the West and the East. It is hard to do this without touching on some sensitive topics, such as relationships, respect, and child discipline. It is also hard not to bring my own preconceived notions about these matters into it.  I was raised in the West on an individualist outlook. I think it is good not only to question authority, but to understand where it comes from.  Over the summer, I was rather harshly reprimanded by a superior one time, and it was enough to ruin my whole day.  Even though the person in question was nice to me afterwards, I could never look at him the same way again.  That's how soft I am, so you can see what I'm dealing with. I've read several self-improvement books that tell me not to complain about or criticize my subordinates, because it raises resentment in them and doesn't get anything done. So it has been different here.  Sometimes, when I heard a teacher yelling at the students, or a house owner reprimanding a maid, I would think to myself, "Why are you being so mean?  That person is helpless against you, and you don't need to demean them like that.  They aren't your slaves." Sometimes, I would almost get angry at the person who was doing the yelling. But I did as much as I could not to say anything to them about it, because these are deep cultural divides one sixteen year old simply cannot dissipate.  I am not a missionary, or an omniscient being, so my job here is not to advocate a certain way of life.  It is to help children.  You may make the argument that the submissive need to be freed by universal action, but I am not sure it has passed the point where I can intervene with my entirely different background and judge anyone like that.  In fact, I'm not even sure I should be writing this here.  Another wrench in this argument is that it is the teacher who educates the students, and the house owner who gives the maid shelter, so is the current situation not better than what it would have been otherwise?  I have yet to decide. Also, I believe it is never ok to hit anyone, unless it is out of self-defense or for sport.  That includes adults, children, and animals. People generally have different opinions here. Not everyone does, but it is certainly more prevalent.  They think that kids need to be fixed to do good, while I believe children need to use their inner potential to do good.  Keep in mind that I am not trying to say anything is right or wrong, but I am telling what is, and what my inner mentalities are.  I am also aware that I am making wide generalizations. But in the end, no amount of debate can truly convince anyone of anything, since we are much too rooted in our biographies to believe anything else.  What I've thought about a lot is whether we are in a dichotomy or a continuum with each other, and so far, I've come to the conclusion that we are in both.  Yes, I feel a sort of hostility with the leadership style of authoritarianism, and this is not to be dismissed as an illusion, but yet, we are one and the same.  We have similar intentions, and I think we can use this as a premise to work together.

The most important lesson I have probably learned from this trip is the value of certain moments.  Like I said, I had many little infinities on this trip: arriving, having that discussion on the plane with my brother, reading and writing, spending time at the school, and going out with my family members.  The significance of the 'little' things cannot be underestimated, and no matter what something is, you can write at least 400 pages about it.  As humans, we are eventually forced to move on, but you shouldn't let that bog you down.  You should always make progress by really thinking about all those little black holes of complexity.

Right now, I have to go get my passport photocopied and spend the last few hours with everyone, so in that case, I'll say to you:

Onward and upward,
    Ahsem Kabir

Image From:
http://www.santabanta.com/wallpapers/planes/?page=3

People Don't Buy What You Do, They Buy Why You Do It: Purpose

These days, what I've really been thinking about is purpose: namely, the reasons we have behind what we do and who we are.  By reasons, I do not mean external circumstances that make something happen.  Take the question "why does it rain?".  I do not mean to tell you that it is raining because of the condensation of water vapor and gravity.  That describes the process substances undergo to produce what we know as 'rain'. The correct question to that answer would be "how does it rain?"  and the proper field for it would be science. But, why does it rain?  You might say that rain is needed to physically sustain life, but that's not it, either.  That is still answering to an external circumstance and explaining a pragmatic utility for rain.  Rain existed far before life, and it's purpose accordingly transcends it.  I have no answers.  What I am referring to is very internal.  It is a void located at the center of all thought that seems to defy any explanation.

The field of metaphysics, which can be broadly defined as the study of being, is very rich in answers to these questions.  Or should I say questions to these answers? A powerful insight regarding purpose is provided by the author Robert M. Pirsig, who, with his 1974 cultural phenomena novel Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values, popularized the concept of 'Quality', a term which he believes to be fundamentally undefinable.  Quality, or what is considered good, should come before anything else.  In the sequel Lila: An Inquiry Into Morals, he provides a complete metaphysical breakdown of this idea.  I realize that the word 'metaphysical' can be daunting to many people, so to say it in English, Lila takes a general purpose, and applies it to life as we know it.  That raises an important point: it is strange that it takes a while to come to this idea when it is so universal.  Very few people are aware of this issue and its implications. I am not saying the others are stupid at all, but I am saying that the way the world is currently set up usually makes it so that one has to go through substance first to have any purpose, when it really should be the other way around.  It is also strange that metaphysicians are generally thought of as crazy and out of touch with reality, when all they are trying to do is learn about reality and how it works.  To think about these ideas and be socially accepted, you have to become a certain kind of person.  No one has ever fully reversed the order. It is a contradiction I am still trying to explain.

I recently read in a book called The Search For Meaning by Dennis Ford that many metaphysicians believe in a 'hierarchy of being'.  That is, they believe that some things are in a higher state of existence than others.  To illustrate that concept, take the letter m.  The property m denotes any chemical substance.  Everything in physical existence has attained the level of m, from minerals, to a cup of water, to a corpse.  Basically, if you are made of chemicals, you have achieved m, but you're not quite invincible yet. You still have several levels to get through, the first being x, or the property of life.  x is what separates plants from the soil they eat.  We still have a long way to go before we know what designates "life", scientifically or otherwise. In fact, the progressions between levels and how they work remain quite mysterious.  But for now, I'll say that x represents life.  The next level of being y, is consciousness.  It is what makes animals different from plants.  Spruce trees, though living, and composed of substance, are not able to think about what's for dinner, while cats are able to.  Humans, though technically animals, have really come as far as they have because they are on another higher level of being, according to some metaphysicians.  This level, z, is the ability to realize that you are thinking, or to be self-aware.  The only reason I can tell you about any of this, and the only reason you can read it, is because we have both attained z.  We are thinking about thinking.  Moreover, we have not forsaken the other levels, and we have all of those too.  All these levels gave us our positions in life and made us these strange complex amalgams of chemicals.  It is now possible for me to write this post, and for you to read it and make something out of it.  Many have detected another higher level, and this is what I call 'purpose'.  It seems to be the center of everything, and I am reluctant to assign a letter to it, so let's call it infinity. For you visual learners, here is a diagram of the entire concept:

hierarchy of being

Look at it closely.  What I am concerned with is the center, how it behaves, and what it means for all rest of the circle.
For those of you who need a break from metaphysics, I'll tell you about a YouTube video I watched Monday evening.  It was easily the greatest motivational speech I've ever watched, and I highly recommend you watch the entire fifteen minutes if you haven't already.  It could change your life, literally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFnmsCnr6g.  I don't tell it nearly as good as he does, but for those of you who can't watch the video, in it, the speaker Eric Thomas tells the story of a young man who asked a guru for the secret to success.  The guru told him to meet him out at the beach at four in the morning.  Though the man was surprised, he listened to the guru and showed up.  The guru told him to swim out into the water.  He took him in further and further.  And further.  Suddenly, without warning, the guru pushed the man's head underwater and held him there.  The man was kicking and pushing, but the guru was strong, and continued to hold him underwater.  Once he was about to pass out, the guru raised him up and said, "when you were under there, what did you want the most?"  The man said, "To breathe."  The guru then said to him, "Once you want success as much as you want to breathe, then, you will be successful."  What we have here is a reversal of priorities.  The purpose comes before eating, sleeping, or even breathing.  Would you look at that? Purpose!  It works!

If you don't believe me, try waking up at four am and doing something productive.  Anything. Write a story, do some homework, exercise: whatever you want.  I know that sounds awful, but just try it, once.  Convention tells you to keep sleeping, because conventionally, sleep is placed before any meaningful thought or productive work.  And of course it will be hard at first, for those of you who have never done it before.  It takes a good deal of willpower to get out of bed.  But I promise, it gets easier as you go on.  Three hours later, you are already way ahead of everyone else, and it isn't even breakfast.  Imagine what will happen if you do it every day!

The title of this blog post is adopted from the thesis of a TED talk recorded in September of 2009 called, "how great leaders inspire action" by author Simon Sinek, who is best known for his theory of "the golden circle".  I watched this video for the first time in my US History class on December 5th of last year.  He says that as a leader, in order to inspire, you must start with 'why', expand it to 'how', and finally, the 'what' will follow.  To demonstrate this, he explains many things, including why Apple is so successful in selling phones, why no one has heard of Samuel Pierpont Langley and his quest to invent the plane, and why so many people came to see Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have A Dream' speech.  In all cases, the innovators in question began with heart, and the rest is history.  Even Sinek himself is a prime example of the validity of the Golden Circle: the sound quality of his talk was mediocre, and he even switched microphones in the middle of it. But because of his message, the talk is now the third most viewed on the entire website. Here is the Golden Circle.  Look familiar?  I'll bet it does.

The Golden Circle

Sometimes, in these posts, I try to guess what you as a reader are thinking, and right now, it is possible that some of you are thinking, "I did not come here to read about metaphysics or the secret to success.  I came here to hear about your experiences with helping Bangladeshi schoolchildren in the slums." Well, hang on, I'm getting to it.  I know what I am talking about seems unrelated, but I am doing exactly what I'm talking about: I am starting with an idea.

Last entry, I wrote about selfish and selfless intentions, or purposes.  The reason I believe that it is better to strive for altruism in community service is definitely connected to what I've just written here.  If you're only in it for the recognition or the money, forget it.  Look at the title of this post for a second. External factors are fleeting, no matter what it may look like right now.  You won't truly go anywhere unless you actually want to help people.  This principle is where all those little meaningful moments come from.  It is why you can see the schoolchildren giving out high-fives, and smiling out of pure joy.  A life often changes greatly because of incidents which many would judge as "small", based on time duration, or space volume. But what those people are doing is taking something that comes from the center of that circle I drew, and judging its value based on the standards established by the outside of the circle, which, most of the time, you simply can't do and expect to be right. Haven't you guys noticed that it only takes the splitting of just one atom to blow up an entire city and kill millions of people? On a happier note, a few words can also inspire someone to take action.  A few words can change someone's life.  They can change the world.  We all have something that comes from the center of that circle. And it is your choice what to do with yours.

I had some difficulty deciding whether to post this, because it seemed very hard to communicate. I do have a fear that I can't truly reach you from this position, but I'll try anyway.  What's the harm? I've learned a lot in writing this post.  It was hard at first, but I'm really glad I did it.  Now, it's up to you to apply it to yourself.
On that note, I think I'll close.  I hope you get something from this.

Peace be with you,
   Ahsem Kabir

Images From:
http://someordinarygamers.wikia.com/wiki/File:Void.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zen_and_the_Art_of_Motorcycle_Maintenance
Microsoft Word 2008
http://life-engineering.com/how-great-leaders-inspire-action-the-golden-circle/

The Role of Objectivism in Community Service

One of my greatest fears in life is doing things for the wrong reasons and thus not getting what I want from them.  I'll give you an example to show you what I mean.

Last February in a Physics class, I was having a discussion with two classmates named Ayn Peikoff and Leonard Rand about how community service plays a part in high school and college admissions (their names have been changed for the sake of anonymity).  We were all in agreement that everyone is selfish in some way, and that it is impossible to perform an entirely selfless act.  That's when Leonard said: "Who cares if it (community service) is only done to make résumés look good? It's still getting done, and people still benefit."  It sounds perfectly fair, right? But if you were to run a transcript of my thought, it would look something like "Wellll..... maybe you're oversimplifying it a bit there."  It was hard to decide whether I quite agreed with the statement at the time.  I tried to subtly protest by implying he that was taking it too far.  In fact, I was so subtle, that they didn't even catch on, and Ayn just kind of said "yeah... what?", frowned at me, and turned back around.  After that, I continued to work on my physics problems.  

I knew it was impossible for someone to do something out of wholly selfless intent, as it makes one feel good about themselves when they help someone.  I still could not help but feel inside that people may not always be doing things for the "right" reasons.  I know I'm not really anyone to make this judgement, but often, is it not the intent under which we work that controls what we do, and in turn what that eventually leads to?  Wouldn't true passion and eventually success in community service therefore originate from an actual love in helping others?

Leonard Peikoff

Ayn Rand

The school of objectivism was developed by Russian philosopher and writer Ayn Rand.  The most prominent supporter of objectivism and heir to Rand's estate was named Leonard Peikoff (yes, that's where I got the names above).  Rand's magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged is a gargantuan novel in which she develops this theory by telling the story of a dystopian America.  Atlas Shrugged involves many literary genres such as science fiction, mystery, and a tinge of romance.  Even though I have not read the novel (come on: it's 1159 pages!) I think that its vague, multifaceted, and complex nature goes to show something about the theory of objectivism itself.  It shows that the theory of objectivism is rather all-inclusive in its implications and thus impossible to escape.  It isn't meant to be taken lightly, so it isn't something you can just throw out there and forget about.  Once it's said, it's said, and it fills the room with the stench of ulterior and misguided motives.  

Atlas Shrugged

If you want to apply objectivism to this Immersion, just read my first blog entry, Great Expectations.  I am going to be completely honest here, and I am not writing this entry to anyone, or for any kind of digression.   Like I said, once you say it, it's said, and you have to say all of it.  It is as if something is calling me to tell you this.  So now we're out in the open.

In my first entry, I talked about what I wanted to attain from this community-service based Immersion.  Look at the underlined words: does that even make sense? I largely talked about my own quest for wisdom, and you, the reader, were mentioned almost as an afterthought.  I even wrote, "those are all selfish ideals." in regards to the wisdom.  What's more: the schoolchildren off of which this Immersion is based weren't even mentioned in that entry.  In fact, they weren't mentioned until I wrote about going to volunteer at the school two entries ago.

Dale Carnegie

I bet a lot of you didn't even notice any of this.  My adding of you to the entry as an afterthought sufficed, and I'm guessing many of you didn't think of the school either when you read it.  The self-improvement writer Dale Carnegie said to talk to people about themselves, and arouse in them an eager want, and that's what I did. And it worked, because you're selfish, too. 

But to look at it from another side, I believe objectivism is just as true as its converse.  I believe it is just as impossible to commit an entirely selfish act.  At first, it's easy to think it isn't, but that's because everyone who's ever lived, even the Dao himself, is capable of failing to see that we're all connected.  Everyday, we draw arbitrary lines to designate individuals.  Even the cold loner who goes completely out of his way to be by himself solely bases his actions on getting away from other people. Without the existence of those people, his actions would not have a purpose or intent.  So what are we, really? Selfish or selfless? Well, we are the first, but we are attracted towards the second because we are bothered by what we are.  I apologize if I'm confusing you here: just bear with me.

True

I'd anticipate that there are many people who really do not care about helping others, but they do it anyway for their own motives, like college admissions or money or recognition from the people. They admit this too, and when pressed, they use what Leonard thinks as an excuse: "I'm doing it, and it's working, so who cares?" They are on auto-pilot, and they've been lucky up to this point.  Auto-pilot is like using duct tape to cover a hole in the wall: it will work for sometime, maybe even a long time, but it's no real substitute for plaster.  In something like community service, eventually, your lack of integrity will catch up with you if you don't genuinely care about what you're doing.  You won't be good for long after that, inwardly or outwardly.  If that doesn't convince you, I'll appeal to an inner motive of yours.  Soon, your inner mentality is going to bleed outwards to your actions, and then once people find out, your credibility is going to go down the toilet. People may be selfish, but they always seek out true selflessness, because they are bothered by the inescapability of objectivism. They try to escape from something they can't escape from by looking for any counterexample to it, whatever that may be.  And once they find out you are even a bit of a liar about your compassion, you're done.  Just ask Greg Mortenson or Jeffrey Skilling.

Being wholly altruistic is impossible, but for all these reasons, I see it as an ideal to strive for.  The UN's ultimate goal is world peace, and they may never achieve it, but they do not use that fact as an excuse not to try.  It is their ideal which keeps their organization moving, as it is their heartbeat which keeps their blood flowing.  Likewise, a scientist knows science will never discover the whole truth, but the search for 'truth' is the reason anything ever gets done.  Thus the only way to really be 'good' is to strive for these ideals, even if you never get there. The journey is more important than the destination.

How does this all apply to the Immersion? Well, the key word here is 'Immersion'.  A selfish person does not immerse in his surroundings: he looks at them like a scientist does a colony of ants.  Meanwhile, a selfless person does immerse his surroundings.  When I wrote about walking into the schools, I described the experience to you in a very detached manner, which is selfish.  But then, I made an effort to be selfless by saying I am of my surroundings.  Here, I am trying to immerse.  That doesn't mean I will succeed, but I will try.  In my process of doing this, it really is the win-win situation that Leonard described.  I am getting my Great Expectations fulfilled, and children benefit.  If you don't even attempt to be selfless, everyone loses.  It is the intent which comes first.

This might have been a little hard to follow, so I'll summarize the main idea of the blog post here. The role of objectivism in community service is inescapable, but we do our best to try escaping it anyway.  And from that trying, we help.  We do a true service for the community, and everyone really does win.

Yours truly (or not),

   Ahsem Kabir

  

Images From

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayn_Rand

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Peikoff

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_Shrugged

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie

http://www.growthguided.com/another-level-of-connection-discovered/
http://www.sogoodwill.org/donate/financial-gifts/planned-giving/

Transition: The Nature of the Next Few Entries

Hello people,
Today's post is not going to be very long and will serve as a transition into the topics I'll be considering for the next few entries.
The past four days have been a recession from volunteering at schools.  I was only planning to take a two day weekend, however, I was sick yesterday, and today, there is what we call a 'hortal', or political demonstration, in which everything apart from offices shuts down through out Dhaka. Some hortals are more serious than others, and today's hortal, from what I've heard, is one of the benign ones. To get a general idea of what a hortal is like, watch this seven-minute political satire video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EpfXQ2U11E.

Hortal

In regards to what I have been doing for the school, I have been making presentations for the children on various subjects.  For example, on Friday, I made a presentation about cars, and on Saturday, I made one about plants and animals. Last week, I also made a reading comprehension exercise about a short story called 'The Tiler'.

Making 'The Tiler'

The next few entries, as I see them right now, will be less explicit in nature, concerned with big ideas that stem from small encounters.  Of course, nothing here is written in stone.  In fact, nothing here is written at all: it is typed.  However, that is the direction I foresee for the blog. This is because the tangible nature of my volunteering has been aptly summed up in the past entry, with a few small exceptions I will still keep you up to date on.  So what we have to do now is give it all some significance by returning to those great expectations mentioned at the very beginning of this blog.
I'll get started on that next entry, but until then:

Best wishes,
   Ahsem Kabir